A Covert Operative’s New Year’s Resolution 2025

        But as another New Year begins, I’ve been reflecting on how this approach, while crucial in the field, can become a limitation in everyday life. It’s easy to let tradecraft bleed into personal relationships, creating walls of defensiveness where bridges of connection should stand.

So, this year, I’ve resolved to make a change: to give people more of a chance and to be more open, to use less of my training and be “normal”.

        This isn’t about discarding vigilance or ignoring the instincts that have kept me safe. It’s about recognizing that not every situation requires a calculated response and not every person should be held at arm’s length. Being open doesn’t mean being naïve.

It’s about finding moments to trust, to listen, and to connect without filtering everything through a tactical or strategic lens.

        One of the first steps in this process is redefining what constitutes a real risk. In the field, the stakes are high, and every decision has consequences. In everyday life, however, the risks are rarely as dire. Sharing a personal story or expressing vulnerability in a conversation isn’t compromising operational security – it’s being human. I’ve found that starting small helps.

Admitting a mistake, sharing a harmless opinion, or letting someone see my unguarded side in a safe context can make a significant difference in how others perceive me—and how I view myself.

        Another challenge is changing the way I listen. As an operative, every conversation is filtered through a purpose: to gather information, detect lies, or gain leverage. That’s useful in the field, but it’s exhausting when applied to every interaction. This year, I’m working on being present in conversations, listening to understand rather than analyze.

It’s remarkable albeit not surprising, how much more genuine people are when they feel heard without judgment or agenda.

        I’ve also had to confront my own discomfort with imperfection. Operatives are trained to maintain control, to manage how they’re perceived, and to minimize vulnerabilities. But trying to appear flawless all the time is isolating.

        At the heart of this resolution is trust – not blind trust, but trust in my own judgment. Years of experience have given me a sharp ability to read people. I’ve realized that I can trust my instincts not just to detect threats but also to recognize when someone deserves a fair chance. Giving people the opportunity to prove themselves, rather than defaulting to skepticism, has led to some unexpected and rewarding connections.

        The benefits of this shift go beyond relationships. Being more open has made me feel lighter, less burdened by the constant vigilance that defines so much of my life. While I’ll never completely let my guard down – it’s not in my nature – I’ve found moments to relax and simply exist without the weight of constant analysis. Those moments are a gift.

        This resolution is an extension of my training, not a rejection of it. Tradecraft is about adaptability, and openness is a skill as valuable as any other. Building trust, showing vulnerability, and creating genuine connections are just as critical as surveillance or counterintelligence.

These skills enrich not only my personal life for the everyday but also my effectiveness as an operative in the field. Understanding people on a deeper level only makes me better at what I do.

//   A resolution is a seed planted on the first day of the year; how it grows depends on your daily care.